The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
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