She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
