Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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