sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
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