How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
