What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
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