Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Randomize
