Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
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