What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Randomize
