He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize
