Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
