Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
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stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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