hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Someone came in the potted fern
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Randomize
