she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
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