Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
