In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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