apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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