Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
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His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
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Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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