so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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