chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
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Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
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At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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