I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Randomize
