I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
You ruined the universe
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
