what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
