Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize
