Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
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