shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
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