Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
