just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
