My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
vagina is talking i cant
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize