you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
We had to coat check the pizza.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
