It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
This is my gift to your gina
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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