Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Randomize