I'm gonna have a badass scar
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Holy shit dude........stairs
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
