Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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