sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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