my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
