I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
