About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
