I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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