Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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