I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize
