So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
