what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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