just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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