What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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