can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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