its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
