covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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