sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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