Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Everyone says I win the strip club
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
