hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
