shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
i think my mom watched the whole time
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
