some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
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