Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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