The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
