I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
