Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
