I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
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im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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