What did we do last night that was yellow?
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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