im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
So squirting runs in the family.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
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