There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
