The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
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He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
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