The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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