Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
