This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
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