Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Randomize
