All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Randomize